A Bedtime Story and A Reflection on Surrender

The Myth of Tyr and Fenrir

With Bonus Reflection on Surrender

“Tyr and Fenrir” by John Bauer (1911)

The Myth

In the pantheon of the Norse gods, Tyr was the god of law and heroic glory, often associated with warfare. But in this story, his honor and bravery take center stage.

Fenrir, on the other hand, was no ordinary wolf. He was the progeny of the trickster god Loki and a giantess named Angrboda. From birth, Fenrir was an enormous beast, growing at an alarming rate. The gods, having heard prophecies that Fenrir would bring about great calamity and play a key role in Ragnarok - the end of the world, decided to keep him in Asgard, their realm, where they could watch over him.

The gods amused Fenrir and kept him occupied by challenging him to break various chains, presenting it as a game to showcase his strength. Fenrir, filled with youthful pride, always broke free, his strength astonishing and terrifying the gods.

As Fenrir continued to grow and his strength increased, the gods decided they needed a plan to bind him. They commissioned the dwarves, the greatest smiths and craftsmen in the nine realms, to forge a chain that could not be broken. This chain, Gleipnir, was as thin as a silken ribbon but was magically imbued to be stronger than any chain before it. It was made from six impossible things: the sound of a cat's footfall, the beard of a woman, the roots of a mountain, the sinews of a bear, the breath of a fish, and the spittle of a bird.

The gods challenged Fenrir to break Gleipnir, but the wolf was suspicious. He had noticed that this bond was different from the ones before it. Fenrir agreed to the challenge, but only if one of the gods would put their hand in his mouth as a pledge of good faith. If the gods were being deceitful, Fenrir would take the hand as his due.

This was a dangerous wager. The gods looked amongst themselves, and only Tyr was brave enough to step forward. He placed his right hand, his sword hand, in Fenrir's jaws.

The gods bound Fenrir with Gleipnir, but when Fenrir struggled, the ribbon only became stronger. Realizing he had been tricked, Fenrir snapped his jaws shut, severing Tyr's hand.

But Tyr did not flinch or cry out, showing the unflinching bravery that defines a warrior. He sacrificed his hand for the safety of the gods and the nine realms.

The gods left Fenrir bound, where he remains until Ragnarok. And Tyr? He remained a revered god, a symbol of sacrifice, law, and honor, even though he was left one-handed. The tale of Tyr and Fenrir reminds us that bravery sometimes lies not in victory, but in what one is willing to give up for the greater good. 

On Surrender 

The concept of surrender in recovery may initially evoke feelings of defeat, but this need not be the case. To fully understand why, it is crucial to grasp the two key aspects of surrender: to give oneself over to something or to cease fighting against it.

At first glance, ceasing to fight may seem like an admission of defeat. However, this perception changes when we consider the broader picture that recovery paints. If we view our lives as an ongoing campaign rather than a singular battle, we can adopt a strategic perspective. This way, we cease to fight against our addiction, accepting it instead, which enables us to concentrate our energies on recovery. This shift in focus is similar to a tactical retreat on a battlefield, giving up one fortified position to secure a superior one elsewhere. It's an acceptance of a minor defeat to secure a larger victory.

In recovery circles, there's often talk about surrendering to addiction. However, doing so would be akin to walking into a trap. What we should surrender to - or, more accurately, commit to - is recovery. This commitment could involve a dedicated program, a supportive group, or your Higher Power, whatever that may mean for you.

In the process, the spiritual principles of Honesty, Open-Mindedness, and Willingness should guide us.

Heathen Virtues

In my personal journey of recovery, I've found the Heathen virtues to be instrumental:

Courage: The ability to face fear, danger, uncertainty, and intimidation.

Truth: The commitment to honesty and reliability in dealings with others and the pursuit of truth in all its forms.

Honor: Upholding one's word and maintaining personal integrity.

Fidelity: Expressing loyalty to family, friends, kin, and honoring the bonds of relationships.

Discipline: Exercising control over one's behavior and actions.

Hospitality: Extending generosity and friendliness to guests.

Self-Reliance: Accepting responsibility for oneself and one's actions.

Industriousness: Demonstrating diligence and hard work.

Perseverance: Persisting in a course of action despite facing obstacles.

These virtues have been pillars of support throughout my recovery.

Hail the Gods

Honor to the Aesir and the Vanir.

'Til Valhalla, friends.

Quick Update

NASWG Step 2 is now live!

Happy Stepping. 

Understanding Relationships: The Role and Implications of Trauma Bonding in Military Environments

"Trauma creates change you don't choose. Healing creates change you do choose." - Michele Rosenthal

Introduction

Let's dive into the complexities and nuance of interpersonal connections with the first post in our series on understanding relationships. Today's topic focuses on trauma bonding, an often-overlooked but crucial phenomenon, especially in high-stress environments like the military.

What is Trauma Bonding?

Trauma bonding is a powerful emotional bond between two people. It is typically formed in situations characterized by inconsistent reinforcement periods of intense positivity followed by extreme negativity or even abuse. This intense, shared experience creates a bond that is nearly impossible to break. 

Trauma Bonding in Military Environments

The military is an environment of high stress and adversity, where individuals' lives may depend on the bonds they form with their comrades. This unique environment can foster trauma bonding as servicemen and women face severe stressors such as physical danger, separation from family, and witnessing or experiencing violence.

These shared traumatic experiences often result in incredibly strong emotional connections among military personnel, bonding them in ways few can comprehend. While these bonds can serve a positive function—providing support, camaraderie, and a deep sense of understanding—they can also lead to a form of dependency that makes it difficult for individuals to adjust once they're out of the traumatic situation.

Effects on Relationships

Trauma-bonding relationships can have long-lasting effects. On the one hand, they can foster strong friendships and support networks that help manage traumatic experiences. However, the intensity of these bonds can also lead to negative outcomes.

Dependence and Isolation: An individual may become emotionally dependent on their trauma-bonded partner, isolating them from others and making them feel disconnected if separated from that individual.

Struggles in Civilian Life: Soldiers returning from active duty may struggle to connect with civilian friends and family members who haven't experienced the same trauma, making reintegration into society challenging.

Emotional Turbulence: The inconsistent reinforcement involved in trauma bonding can result in emotional turbulence, leading to mental health issues like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and anxiety.

Healing from Trauma Bonding

The path to healing from trauma bonding involves several steps:

Awareness: Recognizing the signs of trauma bonding is the first crucial step. Understand the features of this bond, such as an over-reliance on a specific individual or feeling isolated from others.

Professional Help: Therapists or counsellors trained in trauma can provide the necessary tools and strategies to process traumatic experiences and address the unhealthy aspects of the bond.

Support Networks: Cultivate relationships outside of the trauma bond. Reach out to family and old friends, and seek new connections as well. These relationships can provide a broader perspective and reduce dependence on a single bond.

Self-Care: Prioritize physical health and mental well-being. Exercise, a balanced diet, and mindfulness activities can help manage stress and promote healing.

Healthy Relationship Skills: Practice active listening, assertive communication, setting boundaries, and mutual respect in all your relationships.

Conclusion

Trauma bonding in military environments underscores the complexities of relationships under extreme stress. Recognizing these bonds, understanding their implications, and taking steps toward healing are crucial for individuals affected by them. Remember, it's okay to seek help and take the time to heal. Join us for the next post in our series as we continue to explore relationships and their factors.

Sacred Time: Insights from Marcus Aurelius for Self-Care in Recovery

Delacroix, E. (1844). The Last Words of Emperor Marcus Aurelius [Painting]. Musée des Beaux-Arts de Lyon.

Introduction

Sacred time is a beautiful concept, deeply rooted in the philosophies of Stoicism, most notably championed by the Roman Emperor and philosopher, Marcus Aurelius. This idea of sacred time has immense potential to be applied to our modern understanding of self-care, particularly for those on a journey of recovery. But what does sacred time really mean, and how can we leverage it to nurture and heal ourselves?

Sacred time, as understood through the Stoic lens, refers to a purposeful and deliberate allocation of time for introspection, self-reflection, and contemplation. For Marcus Aurelius, it was a dedicated period for him to write his thoughts, often in the quiet hours of dawn or late at night, which later came to be known as his Meditations. It was this precious period of solitude and tranquillity where he could connect with his inner self and navigate the complexities of his thoughts and emotions.

In the context of self-care during recovery, whether it's from addiction, illness, or emotional trauma, the idea of sacred time can be a powerful tool. Like Marcus Aurelius, dedicating a specific period each day for introspection and self-reflection can aid significantly in the healing process.

Here's how to cultivate and leverage sacred time in the journey toward recovery:

1. Understand the Importance of Sacred Time:

The first step is to comprehend the importance of sacred time. In the whirlwind of recovery, there might be chaos, confusion, and emotional turbulence. A dedicated period for self-reflection can help us understand our emotions, and triggers, and progress better. It's a time to sit with ourselves, honestly and openly, acknowledging our struggles and celebrating our victories.

2. Establish a Ritual:

Setting a routine can be therapeutic in itself. Choose a specific time of the day that works best for you - it could be early in the morning or late at night, just like Marcus Aurelius. During this time, engage in introspective activities. It could be writing, meditating, or simply sitting quietly in contemplation. The goal is not to distract yourself but to connect deeper with your inner self.

3. Use Writing as a Tool:

Marcus Aurelius used writing as a tool for introspection, which can be incredibly therapeutic. It allows you to express emotions, concerns, and thoughts that you might find difficult to articulate verbally. Journaling your thoughts and feelings can help you track your progress, recognize patterns and triggers, and explore solutions.

4. Practice Mindfulness:

Sacred time is all about being present, and mindful of the current moment. It's about observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment, just as they are. Mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing, or yoga can help cultivate a sense of inner peace and balance.

5. Seek Wisdom:

During your sacred time, you may also choose to read and learn from the wisdom of others. The insights from Stoic philosophers like Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, or Seneca can provide guidance and perspective on handling adversities and nurturing resilience.

Conclusion

Sacred time, thus, is about creating a sanctuary within yourself, a refuge where you can confront and embrace your truth. It's about nurturing a compassionate relationship with yourself, and acknowledging that the path to recovery may be challenging, but you are not alone in your journey.

According to Marcus Aurelius, our minds hold the power, not external events. By understanding this, we can discover our inner strength. Incorporating meaningful moments into our lives can aid in this process, leading to overall healing and restoration. The key is recognizing our obstacles, fostering our ability to overcome them, and ultimately granting ourselves the kindness and support we need.

How to Surrender to Your Addiction and Heal Yourself

Addiction is a chronic disease that affects millions of people around the world. It can cause physical, mental, emotional, and social problems that interfere with one’s quality of life. Many people struggle to overcome their addiction and often relapse after trying various treatments.

One of the key factors that can help someone recover from addiction is the willingness to surrender. Surrendering means accepting that you have a problem, that you cannot control it by yourself, and that you need help from others. It also means letting go of your ego, pride, and resistance, and opening yourself to change and healing.

Surrendering is not a sign of weakness or defeat. It is a sign of courage and wisdom. It is a way of acknowledging your limitations and seeking a higher power or purpose that can guide you to recovery. Surrendering is not giving up on yourself or your life. It is giving yourself a chance to start over and live a better life.

But how can we surrender to our addiction and heal ourselves? One way to approach this question is to look at the ancient wisdom of Hippocrates, the father of medicine. Hippocrates was a Greek physician who lived in the 5th century BC. He is famous for his contributions to medicine, such as the Hippocratic Oath, the four humors theory, and the concept of clinical observation.

Hippocrates also had some insightful quotes on health, food, and medicine that can help us understand the process of surrendering and healing. Here are some of them:

"If someone wishes for good health, one must first ask oneself if he is ready to do away with the reasons for his illness. Only then is it possible to help him."

This quote implies that we have to be honest with ourselves and identify the root causes of our addiction. These could be psychological, emotional, environmental, or genetic factors that make us vulnerable to substance abuse. We have to be willing to face these issues and work on resolving them. We have to be ready to change our habits, behaviours, and attitudes that contribute to our addiction. Only then can we seek help from others and benefit from their support.

"The greatest medicine of all is teaching people how not to need it."

This quote suggests that we have to learn how to prevent or manage our addiction without relying on external substances or interventions. We have to educate ourselves about the nature and consequences of addiction, and how to cope with stress, cravings, triggers, and relapse. We have to develop healthy skills and strategies that can help us deal with our challenges and emotions without resorting to drugs or alcohol. We have to find alternative sources of pleasure, satisfaction, and meaning in our lives.

"Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food."

This quote implies that we have to pay attention to what we eat and how it affects our health and well-being. We have to nourish our bodies with wholesome foods that can provide us with energy, nutrients, and antioxidants. We have to avoid foods that can harm our health or worsen our addiction, such as processed foods, sugar, caffeine, or junk foods. We have to balance our diet with moderation and variety.

"The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well."

This quote suggests that we have an innate ability to heal ourselves if we tap into it. We have a natural healing force that consists of our immune system, our self-healing mechanisms, our intuition, our spirituality, and our willpower. We have to activate this force by taking care of ourselves physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We have to trust ourselves and our potential for recovery.

"Make a habit of two things: to help, or at least to do no harm."

This quote implies that we have a responsibility towards ourselves and others in our recovery journey. We have to help ourselves by seeking help when we need it, following our treatment plan, staying sober, and taking positive actions. We also have to help others by sharing our experiences, offering support, giving back to the community, or being role models. We have to avoid harming ourselves or others by using drugs or alcohol again, engaging in risky behaviours, or hurting anyone’s feelings.

These are some of the ways we can relate Hippocrates’ wisdom on health to the idea of surrendering to our addiction and healing ourselves. 

Identifying Triggers

Triggers are specific events, situations, or circumstances that cause emotional reactions or behaviors. Identifying triggers is an important part of managing emotional reactions and promoting emotional well-being. In this blog post, we will discuss the importance of identifying triggers and provide tips on how to do so effectively.

Why identifying triggers is important

Triggers can cause a range of emotional reactions, from mild discomfort to overwhelming distress. These reactions can have negative consequences on our mental and physical health, relationships, and daily functioning. By identifying triggers, we can better understand our emotional reactions and develop strategies to manage them effectively.

Identifying triggers can also help us avoid or minimize situations that trigger negative emotional reactions. For example, if we know that public speaking triggers anxiety, we can try to avoid public speaking or prepare ourselves better for such situations.

How to identify triggers

1. Pay attention to your emotions: When you experience an emotional reaction, take a moment to reflect on what caused it. Ask yourself what triggered the reaction and try to identify any patterns or commonalities.

2. Keep a trigger journal: Keeping a journal can help you track your emotional reactions and identify patterns over time. Whenever you experience a strong emotional reaction, write down the trigger, the emotion you felt, and any thoughts or behaviors that followed.

3. Talk to a therapist or counselor: A mental health professional can help you identify triggers and develop coping strategies to manage them effectively. They can also provide support and guidance as you work through emotional reactions.

4. Use mindfulness techniques: Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. Practicing mindfulness can help you become more aware of your emotions and identify triggers more easily. Try to focus on your breath and bodily sensations when you experience an emotional reaction.

5. Ask for feedback: Sometimes, we may not be aware of our own triggers. Asking trusted friends, family members, or coworkers for feedback can help us identify triggers we may have overlooked.

Once you have identified your triggers, it is important to develop coping strategies to manage them effectively. Coping strategies may include mindfulness techniques, relaxation exercises, cognitive-behavioral therapy, or medication. It is important to work with a mental health professional to determine which strategies are most effective for you.

In conclusion, identifying triggers is an important part of managing emotional reactions and promoting emotional well-being. By paying attention to our emotions, keeping a trigger journal, talking to a therapist, using mindfulness techniques, and asking for feedback, we can identify triggers more easily and develop effective coping strategies. Remember, managing emotional reactions is a process, and it takes time and practice to develop effective coping strategies.

Prioritizing Self-Care: A Vital Component of Daily Recovery

Recovery from addiction is a journey that requires a holistic approach to healing. While traditional treatment methods such as therapy, medication, and support groups are essential, it's also important to incorporate self-care into your daily routine. Self-care refers to taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health through activities and practices that promote well-being. Incorporating self-care into your daily routine can help you manage stress, reduce anxiety and depression, and improve your overall quality of life. Here are some tips for incorporating self-care into your daily recovery routine: Make self-care a priority: It's easy to put self-care on the back burner when you're busy or stressed, but it's important to make it a priority. Schedule self-care activities into your day just like you would schedule a therapy appointment or a support group meeting. Make a commitment to yourself to prioritize your well-being. Find activities that bring you joy: Self-care should be enjoyable, not a chore. Find activities that you enjoy and that bring you joy. This could be anything from taking a walk in nature to reading a book, practicing yoga, or cooking a healthy meal. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment. Practicing mindfulness can help reduce stress and anxiety, improve mood, and increase self-awareness. Consider incorporating mindfulness into your self-care routine through activities such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or journaling. Take care of your body: Taking care of your physical health is an important part of self-care. This could include getting enough sleep, eating a balanced and healthy diet, staying hydrated, and engaging in regular exercise. Exercise has been shown to reduce stress, improve mood, and boost self-esteem. Connect with others: Building a strong support system is an essential part of recovery. Connecting with others who understand what you're going through can help reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness. Consider joining a support group or reaching out to a friend or family member who can offer support and encouragement. Here's an example of what a healthy self-care routine could look like: Morning: Wake up at a consistent time each day Drink a glass of water to stay hydrated Practice a few minutes of deep breathing or meditation Take a shower or bath Afternoon: Take a 10-15 minute walk outside in nature Eat a healthy and balanced lunch Spend 20-30 minutes reading a book or doing a creative activity you enjoy Evening: Practice a relaxing yoga sequence or stretch for 10-15 minutes Cook a healthy dinner with nutritious ingredients Connect with a friend or loved one via phone, text, or social media Practice journaling for 10-15 minutes before bed Incorporating self-care into your daily routine can help you manage stress, reduce anxiety and depression, and improve your overall quality of life. Remember, self-care is not selfish, it's essential for your well-being. Make a commitment to yourself to prioritize self-care and see how it can positively impact your recovery journey.